eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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