John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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