I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Terrible idea I love it
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
