Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
