her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
