Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
