Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
