He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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