bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
