I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
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