I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just made my gag reflex go away.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
