Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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