Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
