with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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