You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
