And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
