yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
