I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I am naked and annoyed.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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