I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize