I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
