How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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