We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm passing your future prison.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
