Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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