Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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