the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
