you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
