I wannas sexs uuuuu
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
