I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
