I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
