My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
the liver wants what the liver wants
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
