I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
