any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
