When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
