I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize