Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize