Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
