Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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