He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize