Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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