i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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