have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she peed on how many people?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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