Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
