Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
