so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm sobbing to NWA
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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