i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
