I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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