I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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