But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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