VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
