Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
