I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
