She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
