I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
