HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
