MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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