Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
