At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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