She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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