So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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