i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
