porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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