3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
