So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
