I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
